Review: Barnyard

“A strong man stands up for himself, a stronger man stands up for others,” moos cow and single dad Ben (voiced with all due gravitas by Sam Elliott, who also covers Tom Petty’s “Won’t Back Down” here). This cow-in-charge of all livestock wishes his adopted son and cow Otis (Kevin James) would one day take his role patrolling the fence to intercept nightly raids by marauding coyotes, instead of promoting nightly barn dances where chickens toss darts at the KFC’s Colonel and bulls mount a Mechanical Man Ride. Behind the farmer’s back, all the four-legged animals can stand up and dance on two legs. Will the udder-laden, hornless Otis stand up to handle Homeland Security “when Ben is no longer able to lead,” as Paramount’s press notes gloss his bloodless death by fang and claw. Yes, and he will follow in Ben’s hooves by adopting the calf of single mom Daisy (Courteney Cox). These lessons come via an unwinsome animated product from Steve Oedekerk, hyped by Paramount for birthing “cult franchise properties” for the “coveted youth demographic.” Oedekerk milks this PG pap for another life lesson: “This story is very personal to me because my sister and I are adopted; there’s an underlying theme about how great adoption is.” Best character is the manic Latino mouse Pip (voiced by comic Jeff Garcia). Risible bits include a colloquium on vegan vs. vegetarian vs. vampire, and a test for disqualifying a dog for the top dog job. With a forgettable score by John Debney (“The Passion of the Christ” and the upcoming “I’ll Always Know What You Did Last Summer”). Other voices: Danny Glover, Wanda Sykes, and Andie MacDowell. 84m (Bill Stamets)