Goofy spoofery is skimpy in Mike Myers’ comedy about a ratings-obsessed guru. Pitched to virgin straight boys, “The Love Guru” stars Myers as America’s #2 spiritual guide and self-help book peddler. Abandoned at an ashram, this American was raised by a cross-eyed guru (Ben Kingsley) who girded the lad with a chastity belt. A thunk sound-effect cues his erections. The soundtrack is also busy with puns and wordplay. Any excuse to say “Bangkok” will do. The Hungarian name “Mariska Hargitay” (after the nine-season veteran of “Law & Order: SVU”) sounds sufficiently Hindi to pass as a greeting between the guru and his demographic. The trailer was sufficient to incense a self-proclaimed “acclaimed Hindu and Indo-American leader” in Nevada to slam “The Love Guru” for “lampooning Hinduism and Hindus and using Hindu terms frivolously.” Between his many boundary and bodily function issues, Myers trespasses the fourth wall for jumbo winks and juvenile grins. The enlightened, if unlaid, one will at least get his ratings up if he gets on Oprah. And the road to an Oprah slot is to pull off a couple-repair job. A Toronto hockey star (Romany Malco) lost his knack for scoring when his wife (Meagan Good) hooked up with a super-hung player from a rival team (Justin Timberlake). First-time director Marco Schnabel draws on stints as visual consultant, production associate and second unit director on Myers’ three “Austin Powers” films for a style that only has eyes for the star, who also co-wrote and co-produced this jokey crap. If only “The Love Guru” had the wit to rip the feel-good banalities of Oprah et al, and not itself pander with its own cheap path to yuks. Cameos by Deepak Chopra and one Mariska Hargitay. With Jessica Alba, Verne Troyer, Stephen Colbert and Telma Hopkins. 88m. (Bill Stamets)
